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HOW DARE YOU H.O.F. VOTERS!!!
I’m sorry to all of the 397 baseball writers that did vote for Roberto Alomar’s induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. For the others that didn’t vote him in, HOW DARE YOU!! Were you even watching the same game throughout the 90’s as me? Because the only reason he’s not in is because of a certain [...]
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Pulling No Punches
18. December 2009
This episode was more anticipated than the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. But before I go any further: 1) Credit goes to MTV for being socially responsible and pulling their punch (pun intended) by removing footage of Snooki getting sucker punched. It actually created a more dramatic effect by going to a blackened screen a la the Sopranos series [...]
Continue reading...Goodbye Godzilla
15. December 2009
When I saw you for the last time in pinstripes, I watched you hit a home run in Game 6 of the 2009 World Series. I was outside of the stadium by the Great Hall and saw you pull one off of Pedro. Today, you officially agreed to be the new DH for the Anaheim Angels [...]
Continue reading...HOW DARE YOU CHINA?!?
11. December 2009
HOW DARE YOU try to vote Tracy McGrady into the All-Star game? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! A PERVERSION OF DEMOCRACY! What did that loser do to deserve an All-Star selection this year? Is it because your favorite countryman can’t play in the ASG and T-Mac’s on the same team? RIDICULOUS! He hasn’t played ALL year! In fact, [...]
Continue reading...Fist Pump Friday: Your First Situation of the Weekend
11. December 2009
New episode of Jersey Shore? You betcha. Introducing a new part of the pine, Fist Pump Fridays: Your first situation of the weekend, but hopefully not your last. Spoiler Alert. If you ain’t a guido, get the f^&* out of my face. (That’s Guidese for try reading this column again after watching the latest episode on [...]
Continue reading...Section 203: Fist Pump Edition
9. December 2009
If you’ve been hiding under a rock the past week you might have missed the premiere of MTV’s “Jersey Shore.“ The word “awesome” cannot fully comprehend, encompass, and describe the show. It is simply amazing. The last time I’ve seen this many self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes? The Yankees Championship parade. That said, after staying up to [...]
Continue reading...UM vs OSU Part II – HOW ABSOLUTELY DARE YOU JUSTIN BOREN
17. November 2009
I’ve waited about two years to write this article, so bear with me if I go on and on about my hatred for such a traitor. Your father played football under Bo in the 60’s. You grew up a Michigan fan while living in enemy territory, and you committed to play for the University of Michigan. [...]
Continue reading...BREAKING NEWS: Victor Zambrano’s mom traded for Scott Kazmir’s mom
13. November 2009
According to this news report, former Major League pitcher Victor Zambrano’s mom was taken from her home in Venezuela by kidnappers. Fortunately, authorities were able to intervene and secure the release of Mrs. Zambrano by the non-waiver trade deadline. While the conditions of the trade were not immediately available to the public, confidential sources inside the [...]
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5. November 2009
Exactly 8 years after the heart-breaking loss to the Diamonbacks in the 2001 World Series, the Yankees are once again the World Series champions. After not fully appreciating the 4 title run in the late ’90s, this playoff run will long be remembered by me. And before I go into some thoughts on [...]
Continue reading...HOW DARE YOU PETA
3. November 2009
For comparing Manu Ginobili’s swatting of a bat to Michael Vick electrocuting, hanging, drowning, and shooting dogs. Sure, PETA didn’t bring up Vick’s name, but they did link to all their posts tagged “Michael Vick” when discussing what Manu did. Here’s exactly what they said: To bludgeon a 4-ounce animal to death, it takes either a [...]
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8. January 2010
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