Author Archives | fivetoolplayer
fivetoolplayer - who has written 49 posts on Writing the Pine.
Fivetoolplayer won a championship his first and only season playing little league baseball as a member of the "Richmond Learning Center." His pitiful attempt to play soccer (2 own-goals, and 300 orange slices eaten) are only overshadowed by his even more pitiful attempt to be humorous. An attempt that misses so badly - it evokes memories of trips to the free throw line during a short-lived intramural basketball career. (Career points : 2)
Grow a Pair and Grab Your Wang
I’m sorry Omar Minaya, but you’re willing to spend $66M on a 31 year old outfielder who plays sub-par defense in the black hole known as the Citi Field outfield but you’re seriously not interested my man Chien-Ming Wang?
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Pulling No Punches
Friday, December 18, 2009
This episode was more anticipated than the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. But before I go any further: 1) Credit goes to MTV for being socially responsible and pulling their punch (pun intended) by removing footage of Snooki getting sucker punched. It actually created a more dramatic effect by going to a blackened screen a la the Sopranos series [...]
Continue reading...Goodbye Godzilla
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
When I saw you for the last time in pinstripes, I watched you hit a home run in Game 6 of the 2009 World Series. I was outside of the stadium by the Great Hall and saw you pull one off of Pedro. Today, you officially agreed to be the new DH for the Anaheim Angels [...]
Continue reading...Fist Pump Friday: Your First Situation of the Weekend
Friday, December 11, 2009
New episode of Jersey Shore? You betcha. Introducing a new part of the pine, Fist Pump Fridays: Your first situation of the weekend, but hopefully not your last. Spoiler Alert. If you ain’t a guido, get the f^&* out of my face. (That’s Guidese for try reading this column again after watching the latest episode on [...]
Continue reading...Section 203: Fist Pump Edition
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
If you’ve been hiding under a rock the past week you might have missed the premiere of MTV’s “Jersey Shore.“ The word “awesome” cannot fully comprehend, encompass, and describe the show. It is simply amazing. The last time I’ve seen this many self-proclaimed guidos and guidettes? The Yankees Championship parade. That said, after staying up to [...]
Continue reading...BREAKING NEWS: Victor Zambrano’s mom traded for Scott Kazmir’s mom
Friday, November 13, 2009
According to this news report, former Major League pitcher Victor Zambrano’s mom was taken from her home in Venezuela by kidnappers. Fortunately, authorities were able to intervene and secure the release of Mrs. Zambrano by the non-waiver trade deadline. While the conditions of the trade were not immediately available to the public, confidential sources inside the [...]
Continue reading...27
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Exactly 8 years after the heart-breaking loss to the Diamonbacks in the 2001 World Series, the Yankees are once again the World Series champions. After not fully appreciating the 4 title run in the late ’90s, this playoff run will long be remembered by me. And before I go into some thoughts on [...]
Continue reading...Girardi Takes a Calculated Risk
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Joe Girardi is starting C.C. Sabathia on three days rest for Game 4 of the World Series. Charlie Manuel is opting for utilizing his team’s depth by pitching a four-man rotation with Joe Blanton taking the mound tonight. Which manager is right? I believe both managers are making the right choice for putting their respective teams [...]
Continue reading...World Series Game 3 Mobile Update
Saturday, October 31, 2009
I’m following the game on MLB’s wonderful iPhone app, At-Bat 2009. Worth every penny of the $9.99 I paid. (And whenever I can catch it on a screen) Then I’m posting using a WordPress app. FiveToolPlayer’s gone high-tech. • Looks like Phillies fans are collectively dressed up as soon-to-be disappointed fanbase • And… Cole Hamels [...]
Continue reading...World Series Game 2: A.J. BurNASTY
Friday, October 30, 2009
Nasty. Filthy stuff A.J. Great all-around game by both squads. Two top-tier teams playing top notch baseball. I’m going to recap the game by focusing on some of the key players: A.J. Burnett He’s pitched well in the postseason so far, but had been overshadowed by Pettitte and Sabathia. Tonight, Burnett pitched 7 brilliant innings. 1 run, 9 [...]
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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