Author Archives | fivetoolplayer
fivetoolplayer - who has written 45 posts on Writing the Pine.
Fivetoolplayer won a championship his first and only season playing little league baseball as a member of the "Richmond Learning Center." His pitiful attempt to play soccer (2 own-goals, and 300 orange slices eaten) are only overshadowed by his even more pitiful attempt to be humorous. An attempt that misses so badly - it evokes memories of trips to the free throw line during a short-lived intramural basketball career. (Career points : 2)
Fist Pump Fridays: There Goes the Neighborhood…
In light of the success of the Jersey Shore, a new reality show will be filmed in Brooklyn’s Brighton Beach centered around Russian-Americans according to the NYPost. So far? No complaints here.
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Farewell Fist Pump?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tonight appears to be the final episode of the Jersey Shore. And for that I am sad. Let’s have a moment of silence please. … MTV, why did you air double episodes last week and a new episode on New Year’s Eve? I could have savored the show just a bit longer. HOW DARE YOU. You can however [...]
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Jersey Shore Power Rankings
Friday, January 15, 2010
Jersey Shore Power Rankings After being treated to a night of back-to-back episodes of Jersey Shore, we’ve had a major shakeup in the Jersey Shore Power Rankings. Will the Situation drop after a dreadful performance? Do we have a surprise leader of the pack?
Continue reading...Fist Pump Friday: GTL
Thursday, January 14, 2010
It’s all about the GTL. Gym. Tanning. Laundry. This will be my 2010 New Year’s Resolution. On that note, there will BACK to BACK Jersey Shore episodes tonight. Clear your schedules. Immediately.
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Ronnie Goes All-UFC On Us
Friday, January 8, 2010
Quick thoughts since I’m on a time budget here: • Ronnie should try out for the UFC/The Ultimate Fighter. Sure, he’s 5′4″, but did you see him destroy that guy last night on the boardwalk? Did a swim move on the guy’s girlfriend, threw a great strike, landed a knee, and was immediately in a full [...]
Continue reading...HOW DARE YOU H.O.F. VOTERS!!!
Friday, January 8, 2010
I’m sorry to all of the 397 baseball writers that did vote for Roberto Alomar’s induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame. For the others that didn’t vote him in, HOW DARE YOU!! Were you even watching the same game throughout the 90’s as me? Because the only reason he’s not in is because of a certain [...]
Continue reading...Grow a Pair and Grab Your Wang
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I’m sorry Omar Minaya, but you’re willing to spend $66M on a 31 year old outfielder who plays sub-par defense in the black hole known as the Citi Field outfield but you’re seriously not interested my man Chien-Ming Wang?
Continue reading...Fist Pump Fridays: Pulling No Punches
Friday, December 18, 2009
This episode was more anticipated than the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. But before I go any further: 1) Credit goes to MTV for being socially responsible and pulling their punch (pun intended) by removing footage of Snooki getting sucker punched. It actually created a more dramatic effect by going to a blackened screen a la the Sopranos series [...]
Continue reading...Goodbye Godzilla
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
When I saw you for the last time in pinstripes, I watched you hit a home run in Game 6 of the 2009 World Series. I was outside of the stadium by the Great Hall and saw you pull one off of Pedro. Today, you officially agreed to be the new DH for the Anaheim Angels [...]
Continue reading...Fist Pump Friday: Your First Situation of the Weekend
Friday, December 11, 2009
New episode of Jersey Shore? You betcha. Introducing a new part of the pine, Fist Pump Fridays: Your first situation of the weekend, but hopefully not your last. Spoiler Alert. If you ain’t a guido, get the f^&* out of my face. (That’s Guidese for try reading this column again after watching the latest episode on [...]
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Monday, March 1, 2010
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