Writing the Pine

Tonight appears to be the final episode of the Jersey Shore.  And for that I am sad.  Let’s have a moment of silence please.

…

MTV, why did you air double episodes last week and a new episode on New Year’s Eve?  I could have savored the show just a bit longer.  HOW DARE YOU.

You can however make up for it by implementing some of the following ideas for the Jersey Shore addicts soon to be exhibiting signs of withdrawal:

1) Jersey Shore Season 2

That’s the next logical step and Vinny’s already let that one slip recently that season two is on the way.  But the earliest we can expect a new episode would be in the fall.  That is unacceptable.

http://satellitetvguru.net/jersey-shore-cast-to-return-for-season-2/

2) Jersey Shore vs. Real World/Road Rules in the Gauntlet Fire Pit of Death Volcano

Call it whatever you want, as long as you pit the cast members of these shows against each other in some way, shape or form.  If RW/RR cast is unavailable, substitute “The Hills” cast.

They don't stand a chance against JS

3) Jersey Shore: Spring Break Edition

Send the Situation, DJ Pauly D, Snookie, “Rammi”, Jwoww, and Vinny to Cancun.  Add some tequila, a little bit of lime, and a Wet T-Shirt contest.

Now you have a Situation.

Now that's a Situation.

4) Jersey Shore Meets the “Simple Life”

Put the cast of the Jersey Shore in “Situations” they may not necessarily fit in or be comfortable in.  E.g. Anywhere outside of the Tri-State area.  Other examples include: Snooki in a stable relationship with a guy, Vinny far away from his mother, and the Situation at an all-you-can-eat buffet.  Hilarity ensues.

Oddly enough, Snooki should be pretty comfortable on a farm.

5) Collaborate with UFC’s Dana White

A once-in-a-life time Pay-Per-View event bigger than Mayweather-Pacquiao.

Pauly D vs. Life Stalker.

Ronnie vs Guy He Beat Up #1.

Ronnie vs. Guy He Beat Up #2.

Snooki and Jwoww vs the Hippos.

Situation vs Vinny.

Courtesy of Melgotserved.com

The Situation’s abs vs. John Basedow’s abs of “Fitness Made Simple.”

Sammi “Fred Flintstone” Sweetheart in a toe wrestling contest with WTP’s own Pinesol, who also has large toes.

This would be the PPV to end all PPVs.  I would drop $49.95. Easy.

That would be just a few things MTV can do to appease their Jersey Shore loving fans.  Please do us some justice.

Tune in tomorrow for the Final Jersey Shore Power Rankings, as well my suggestions for each cast member to capitalize on their moment of fame.

Below, find a funny skit from Funnyordie.com

The Real “Situation”