Writing the Pine

This episode was more anticipated than the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight.  But before I go any further:

1) Credit goes to MTV for being socially responsible and pulling their punch (pun intended) by removing footage of Snooki getting sucker punched.  It actually created a more dramatic effect by going to a blackened screen a la the Sopranos series finale. Except you could hear the sound effects …And the show didn’t end – much to the chagrin of many Italian-American protesters.

2) I don’t condone hitting women and this asshole deserved to be cuffed and thrown into jail.  And he was stealing drinks?   My main question is where was Ronnie/Pauly/Situation/Vinny.  I’m disappointed you saved your fist pumping for the air and not this guy’s face.  How dare you sir(s).

And with Ronnie was running around in just a towel, I half expected a reenactment of the break up scene from Forgetting Sara Marshall.

“Pauly’s hooking up with his girl.  I’m hooking up with my girl.  We’re going to have sex.”

But alas, the girls end up leaving.  This is for Phillies fans everywhere.  Things are going well and they anticipate scoring . . .but alas something goes wrong.  For a brief second Phillies fans were quietly imagining a rotation of Cliff Lee, Roy Halladay, Cole Hamels, J.A. Happ, Pedro Martinez and a small window to dominate the National League.

In the end, they got back some prospects to make up for the loss of Kyle Drabek and got Doc Halladay, but they still lost Cliff Lee.

It’s like when the Situation was left with just a phone number after a long night.  It’s not a total loss, but The Situation was so close to winning another World Series.

Random Thoughts

• The Producers love putting the “conflicting roommates” to work together.  Next week:  Snooki is going to work a shift with the Queens gym teacher that punched her in the face.  And the night shift will be Tiger and Elin.  (Too soon?)

• Why does it seem like everything is on fast forward at the Jersey Shore?  Sammi is in and out of a love triangle in two episodes.  Ronnie falls in, out, and back in love in a span of 2 hours.

• When the guys of Jersey Shore broke down fist pumping down to a science for me, I was too excited to speak.  Actually, no.  It was more like art than science. They had to start real low this time.  Pounding the pavement before bringing it up to optimal fist pumping altitude.

• I personally enjoyed the cheesy fireworks montage while Rammi “smushed” under the covers.

• With Ronnie running around in a towel earlier in the episode, I half expected a re-enactment of the break-up scene from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”

• This blog is brought to you by Body Heat.  Sexy x 2

Pauly D / Situation Tag Team

Pauly and The Situation demonstrated for the world how to take a grenade for your buddy.  Pauly took the grenade.  What a wingman.  Until……he fled the scene.  I had such high hopes for Pauly D/Situation to spread as many STD’s as possible on the Jersey Shore, but at least by my count, they’ve scored less the St. Louis Rams.

While Pauly’s decision to abandon ship wasn’t completely a dick move, I don’t think they’ll be jumping on a grenade for each other.

Reminded me of a certain tag team from my childhood that was split apart many years ago:

Situation Killing it on Conan

“Jersey Shore” on Leno

Jersey Shore Power Rankings: Week Three

1. Pauly D - You took home top honors this week.  Your disdain for the grenade and your I-don’t-care-about-Situation-I-Just-want-to-sleep attitude was great.  Can’t wait for a D-woww hookup.

2. Nicole “Snooki” - You’re growing on me.  And you took that punch like a champ.

3. Mike “The Situation” – You’re the Armando Benitez of closing.  In high-pressure situations, you seem to melt down.  You can blame your teammates and the umpires and the ballpark and the wind and the list goes on.  We’re expecting so much more from you.  But overall a solid performance this week.  The two girls upstairs, two girls downstairs was well-played until the little snafu at the end.  It was like pitching out of a bases-loaded no one out jam and getting two outs before giving up a walk.  So close.  So close.

4. Jenni Jwoww – You’re primed for a big week in the next episode.  You’re gonna cause some drama and beat up some girl.  Needless to say America is excited.  Until then http://www.jwoww.com/

5. Ronnie – How did Sammi find a leash that would wrap around your thick-ass neck?  I’ve been disappointed since you broke your only rule and fell in love at the Jersey Shore.  At least you “smushed.”

6. Sammi “Sweetheart” -  Sammi.  I’m sorry but you need to let Ronnie run free.  You can’t keep him caged like this.  He needs to run around like an unleashed dog in a park.  He needs to mark some trees.

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7. Angelina “Jolie” – She’s not doing things below her anymore, dating married men, and bartending somewhere.

8. Vinny “Pink Eye“ – You know you’re struggling when you’re ranked below a girl that was kicked out of the show.  Sorry Vinny.  You’re letting Shaolin down.