Writing the Pine

Wow.  After months of speculation that Shaquille O’Neal would be headed to Cleveland, it’s now finally official.  The Diesel, the Big Aristotle, the big Shaqtus, is actually joining LeBron James and his kingdom.  Phoenix got Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic back in return (so pretty much nobody).  You know, a few years back it seemed like Robert Sarver was on his way to being the next Mark Cuban (or maybe an owner version of Pat Croce) but instead he is just another cheapskate owner.  Okay so the economy sucks and I’m sure it’s affecting him but damn, you own like a million banks.  Spend a little.  (Oh wait, you own banks?  Okay yeah maybe you should be cutting some more costs…)

Anyway, I like this move for the Cavs for two reasons: 1) they gave up nobody 2) they don’t have to play Zydrunus Ilgauskus as much now.

Ilgauskus is a nice guy to bring off the bench for about 15 minutes but other than that, he’s a liability.  He is a great shooter but why would I want my 7′3″ center shooting 20-footers.  It doesn’t make sense.  Plus he’s unathletic.  He’s so slow he makes Eddy Curry look fast.  And I’ve never seen a taller guy forced to tap so many balls back because he’s unable to get the rebound.  I’ve been saying for years that Big Z is the absolute wrong center for LeBron to be playing with.  I know Shaq is getting up there in age and he’s lost a step but at least he can still clear an area out.  Even if Shaq reverts to Shaq circa 2007 he is still better than what Ilgauskus is now.  I feel badly for big Z after all he’s been through in his career but his time is ending.  It’s alright though, he’ll still be part of a championship-contending team.  Just on the bench. (Unless you got traded.  Then that would totally blow for him.)

Don’t worry LeBron. Shaq will be around with you for at least one year.

I am wondering how the LeBron/Shaq dynamic will work though.  Personally, I think it’s a good thing for LeBron.  Shaq, possibly the most quotable man in all of sports, can deflect a lot of criticism and attention away from the Chosen One.  LeBron has a bad game?  Not to worry.  Shaq will pull something out of his arsenal.  Like who could forget this quote?

“Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.”

I think he’ll also fit right in with the Cavs and all their pre-game antics and team videos and such.  It’s obviously a good situation for Shaq to be in (better than in Phoenix considering he found out he was traded via Twitter) but he’ll bring a lot to the team off the court as well.  His relationships with superstar teammates usually sour after a little while (Penny, D-Wade, Kobe) but it’ll be different this time around.  As we saw during a practice for the 2007 NBA All-Star Game, Shaq and ‘Bron already have great chemistry together.  (In fact, maybe too good.  Watch out NBA cities.  The LeBron and Shaq Show may be headed for a dance club near you.)  I think Shaq recognizes that LeBron is the best player in the NBA and he won’t mess up his opportunity at winning at least one more championship.  As a matter of fact I can definitely see him playing out the rest of his career wherever LeBron is since he’ll probably win multiple championships if he does.  He clearly doesn’t need the money and his legacy will only be greater the more rings he has, no matter how he gets them.  Besides, at 37, he doesn’t have many seasons left in him and it usually takes a few years for his superstar relationships to end like Jon & Kate’s marriage.

So how do I think this ultimately affects Cleveland?  If you’re talking about how far they’ll get in the Playoffs next year then not much really.  I thought they were going to make it to the Finals next year anyway (then again that’s what I thought this year too).  I won’t say this makes them better than the Lakers (or even the Spurs for that matter) but I will say that WHEN the Cavaliers make it to the Finals in 2010 and face off against the defending-champion Los Angeles Lakers, it’ll be one of the most-hyped and most-watched Finals of ALL-TIME.  The NBA, Nike, Vitamin Water (who count Kobe, Shaq, AND LeBron as endorsers), and all us fans will be glad we missed out on the “dream” Finals this year come next June because everyone will be going absolutely bananas over all the storylines of that matchup.  Then again, it’s still freakin’ Cleveland.  C’mon LeBron, join your buddy CC Sabathia here in the Big Apple.  Just imagine how big it would be if you were playing in New York…

Note: FiveToolPlayer wanted me to mention this.  Despite what I’m saying, he adamantly believes that the Lakers will NOT be in the Finals next year to defend their title.  Kobe will get injured and will miss a MINIMUM of three weeks.  And if he’s wrong about either prediction, he will donate $25 to charity.