Writing the Pine

Every year the NBA Playoffs brings out the best the League has to offer; the best players, the best coaches, and overall the best basketball of the season.  But the NBA Playoffs also bring something else: the best basketball advertising campaigns of the year.  This year was no different.  Some of the most creative minds in the marketing world spend hours, days, and weeks coming up with these clever campaigns in hopes of ingraining their products into the minds of viewers across the globe.  2009 was a pretty good year in terms of commercials so without further ado, allow me to give you my take on some of the major campaigns of the Playoffs.

(Note: I realize I left out the Leroy Smith ads.  It might be the most creative and funny campaign out right now and I will be commenting on it at another time.)

Will we see the Most Valuable Puppets in 2010?  Hopefully.

NIKE – MOST VALUABLE PUPPETS
Nike, or rather their ad agency Wieden+Kennedy, looked to be the laughingstock of the ad world for releasing the Kobe and LeBron puppet campaign before their Finals matchup was actually set. As we all know, Dwight Howard and co. decided to ruin our dream Finals (oh admit it, you wanted to see it too) and it seemed like, this campaign as well. But while we were all laughing at them, W+K proved their genius (and they are geniuses) by also shooting commercials with LeBron coming to terms with missing the Finals. As with all good companies, they didn’t put all their eggs in one basket and had a backup plan. Kudos to W+K for that.

There are plenty of things to like about the commercials. Obviously it’s a very creative idea. Who would’ve ever thought to use puppets to portray the two biggest stars in the League? (Okay, Adam Carolla you might have a point. They might’ve gotten their inspiration from Crank Yankers. By the way, let me take this time to plug the Adam Carolla Podcast. Hands down the best podcast on the Net right now. If you’ve never listened to it, start now. You won’t be disappointed.) While they probably saved some money by filming a puppet show, Nike and W+K used some of that dough and brought out some star power to voice the puppets when they didn’t have to. David Alan Grier (Chocolate News) voiced Kobe, Kenan Thompson (Saturday Night Live) did LeBron, and Bobb’e J. Thompson (Role Models) did Lil’ Dez, the little boy who lives below the two ballers. That’s called caring about the product you’re putting out. And these guys were put to work. Nike made a whopping 12 spots (they just released a new one with Kobe celebrating his championship) so they didn’t leave us with the same commercial over and over again. And I’m thinking they made way more than that considering they probably created spots if Kobe got eliminated early and if we actually got that dream matchup of Cavs vs Lakers. It was also hilarious that in the Unstoppable Kobe commercial, they used a bunch of highlights of Kobe abusing the Knicks (they had a lot to choose from) and the one LeBron highlight they used was against the Knicks as well. Watch the commercial below and see how many times you can spot the Knicks getting owned.

The Knicks get owned even in commercials.

So what’s not to like? Not much to be honest. I mean, when you have 12 spots, some will be worse than others but the overall quality is top-notch. I was about to go on a long-winding rant about my displeasure of the choice of Kenan Thompson to voice LeBron but after watching the commercials again, he’s actually not that bad. Now if I had to watch him act, that would be another story, but voiceover work is good for him. He should try and get in on the next Pixar film. I was going to say LeBron deserves a bigger star than Thompson to voice him but hey, times are tough even for Nike. My biggest beef with the ad campaign is not even the fault of Nike or W&K. It is the fault of LeBron’s teammates. How dare they totally sell out in the Eastern Conference Finals and not allow us to see what was in store had we gotten Kobe vs LeBron in the Finals. Well, as LeBron says in one of the spots, “Yeah. C’mon 2010.” C’mon 2010 indeed.

Apparently Dwight, Superman, Stan Van Gundy, Rick James, and Groucho Marx all get their vitamins.

VITAMIN WATER – KOBE VS LEBRON/DWIGHT VS DWIGHT
First we were told that Kobe and LeBron DEFINITELY get their vitamins. Then LeBron got eliminated from the playoffs and we were left wondering if The King would still get his daily dose of Vitamin B and C. My guess is not DEFINITELY but probably. Vitamin Water and Berlin Cameron (VW’s ad agency) found themselves in a similar predicament to Nike and W&K with LeBron’s season ending, but they were never worried. Because little did we know that Dwight Howard DEFINITELY gets his vitamins too! He also gets 250% Vitamin C while LeBron only gets 100%. (Very herby observation I know but where else are you going to get such trivia? Only here at Writing the Pine!) Hmm…why is that? I guess Dwight got a bonus for getting to the Finals. Or maybe Vitamin Water thought the Magic star might need those extra vitamins to take down Kobe. (It didn’t work.)

Something must be said about Superman’s acting chops though. He is great. I always knew he was charismatic but it really translates well on screen. He and Dwyane Wade are by far the best actors in the NBA (with LeBron a close third) and the companies they endorse should take full advantage of their skills (more on this later). Dwight shows great versatility in the commercial and I think he’s got some Hollywood potential. His first feature movie should be Steel 2 where he reprises Shaq’s role as John Henry Irons. If Shaq is bitter at Dwight now, imagine how pissed he would be if that happened!

The next artist to make a song called Amazing will be swimming in money just like Uncle Scrooge (and Kanye).

NBA – WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS
Just when I thought the NBA couldn’t squeeze any more out of its “Amazing” campaign, its “amazing” agency, Goodby, Silverstein and Partners, came out with a slew of commercials that followed in the footsteps of its successful campaign from previous years. It boggles my mind, however, that Michael Jordan was not used in any of the commercials.  There must be a reason why His Airness is left out.  Anyway, they were blessed with a stroke of good fortune when Kanye West came out with his song Amazing as it freshened the campaign for this year at least. They also did a good job putting a twist on the commercials (slowly putting the crowd in the video, giving each star player his own “Where Will Amazing Happen This Year” spot) but I want to see how they’ll use this campaign next year if they decide to keep it going. Tip to any music artist: Release an “Amazing”-based single around March, allow NBA to use song for playoff campaign, collect royalties, then dive into your gold coin-filled swimming pool like Scrooge McDuck in the opening credits of DuckTales.

There’s a Hollywood Star with Dwyane Wade’s name on it somewhere. “You’re my favorite water ski accident.”  Gold.

Lastly, I would like to give an ol’ fashioned how dare you to Gatorade. Why? Yes, your commercials aren’t terrible. I don’t love them but I don’t hate them. But you have THE TWO BEST ACTORS IN THE SPORTS WORLD: Peyton Manning and Dwyane Wade. (Manning obviously does not have anything to do with the NBA but he must be mentioned.)  Have you guys seen the quality stuff these guys put out? Manning’s SNL episode is one of the greatest in recent memory and D-Wade’s recent bit on the Jimmy Kimmel Show is memorable in its own right (he even plugged the “That’s G” tagline several times showing what a company guy he is). It is a total misutilization of talent on Gatorade’s part and cannot be tolerated. The commercials those two put out for their other companies are golden. I’ve long been saying that D-Wade’s performances in his T-Mobile commercials are excellent. So do us all a favor Gatorade and create some commercials where Peyton and Dwyane can show off their natural acting talents instead of plastering Misty May-Treanor, Kerri Walsh, and the Jabbawockeez all over our television screens.

With that said, I would like to make it my personal crusade to get the folks at Saturday Night Live to have Dwyane Wade host the show as soon as possible. I have no doubt in my mind that it would be one of the best shows of the past decade and would be remembered just like Peyton’s. I will do all I can to make this happen and I will not rest until it does. Just listen to my advice Mr. Lorne Michaels.  So let me start it now:

DEAR LORNE MICHAELS,

DWYANE WADE IS THE BEST ACTING TALENT THE NBA HAS TO OFFER.  YOU ALREADY HAD LEBRON JAMES HOST AND LOOK AT HOW BIG OF A SUCCESS IT WAS.  SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, IT WOULD BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO HAVE WADE HOST A SHOW.  I GUARANTEE HIGH RATINGS AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, A MEMORABLE SHOW.  PLEASE LORNE MICHAELS, HAVE D-WADE HOST!  YOU WON’T BE DISAPPOINTED.